Patience

Finding the virtue.

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It’s been said that patience is a virtue. If so, it’s definitely one I haven’t possessed – until now…

I am one of those people who believe there’s a lesson in every day, every week, every month, and every year. Life is a lesson – to me anyway. I think things (read: struggles) are put in our paths to make us – not break us; these struggles are perfectly timed for the moment when we need them most. And, it’s not hard to pinpoint them. (We know when there’s a struggle at bay, right?) The trick is to decipher the code and get to the work of it…

This week, patience was the theme.

Last weekend, I made the impromptu decision to retreat to the island for a weekend away at the shore house. (After the previous week I had, this was no surprise to anyone. Trust.) Everything went amuck and nothing seemed to be working as planned, but I stuck through it, saw the signs, and made the decision to leave a day earlier. Sunday, instead of Monday morning. Luck be a lady (read: bitch), the Jitney ended up getting me to the train station later than scheduled and I missed the second from last train back to the city. The next one was two hours away.

So, I waited.

I waited because Monday was jam packed with meetings and phone calls, tasks, and dreams to conquer. I waited because the calm cool evening was closing out with the most beautiful sunset (see above). I waited because… I had no other choice. (Alas. The truth.)

Monday ended up completely folding; all of my commitments cancelled, rescheduled, or just didn’t manage to make it to the meetings. Thankfully, dreams were chased though. And, progress was made in other realms. Thankfully.

Today though. Today I awoke with the notion to flee the city once again. (I’m a masochist. What can I say.) I thought about spending another weekend in the city – and the 4th of July weekend nonetheless – and I thought about how not amazing that sounded. So, instead of losing half of my Friday to commute time, I thought I’d venture out in the later part of Thursday. “Success!” Or, so I thought. 

Trapped I was again, between the train and the Jitney. Graciously, and at the mercy of the Universe, this time it was for less than a hundred and twenty minutes. This time it was only ninety. Still, I was delayed, stalled, and furious with the outcome of my efforts.

I mean, how dare the universe have such a cavalier disregard for my personal goals. The nerve!

I’d like to say that I waited on the corner of that decrepit street waiting for the bus with a clear mind and positive outlook on the future. But in truth, I was cursing all of the above – and the driver who was singlehandedly prolonging the time between me and my much-needed Wawa quesadillas. (Not pleased, I tell you, I was not pleased. Hangry even.) In truth, the thought hit me in memory of the redundancy. “This keeps happening!” I thought, “Why?”

With the same tone I would use to steer my friends, I gently steered myself. (Internally, of course. I’m not that crazy.)

I thought about the pattern – which stretched far past the previous week; I thought about the past, far before the pattern had started. I took into account Mercury – which I had just learned officially left retrograde – and I contemplated the accuracy of all of that. Then, I sulked for a minute and put some energy into the world. I put good vibes out there; vibes of gratitude – for the moments of silence I was given in waiting, vibes of happiness – for the opportunity to experience another beautiful sunset (for the second time this week), and vibes of knowledge – for the lesson I learned sitting there. On that decrepit street corner.

Opportunities to practice patience have exceeded far beyond waiting for public modes of transportation this week, let me tell you. Opportunities have criss-crossed throughout my personal and professional life; weaving a tangled web – for sure. Nevertheless, a lesson is a lesson, and you don’t have to tell me twice. I know what I’ve learned.

Moving forward, into this new month of July. I’m going to call on the virtue of patience a little more often; that (combined with the day-to-day practice of gratitude) will certainly make for an interesting, and lesson-filled, month.

Xx EMS

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